Reminding myself this evening as I struggle with feelings of failure that being present is always more life giving and restoring than being perfect. I feel myself trying so hard to be what my little man needs both emotionally and physically. But, the physical challenges have been tough. Seeing him uncomfortable with chronic reflux most hours of each day makes a heart, and this mom, feel desperate and alone. Sleeping in 90 minute spurts and staying up 45 minutes in between to feed him and hold him upright for his food to settle wears even the toughest soldier down. I’ve struggled with feelings of resentment and frustration until I had to finally find a moment to pull myself out of my own selfish feelings to ensure that I remembered that compassion and empathy would be more healing to his little body than any medication I could give him. But even those days where I feel I have conquered all could not save me from my feelings of failure today. So here’s to the moms that have been in these painful shoes. I'm reminding myself this evening to breathe as I look around at a house that’s exploded with legos, cars, dirty dishes, and spit up rags… I'm trying to recoup some semblance of feeling worthy even after weeks of being unable to heal my little man’s discomfort… I remind myself, and you, that our value is not in our accomplishments or our perfection. We, even in our brokenness and all our shortcomings, are enough. Our love is always enough.
