Photo by Osman Rana
As I sit and reflect on these weeks leading up to my most favorite time of the year, I feel a mixture of emotions... Though I felt an immense joy celebrating this year with our precious boy, a moment that sticks out poignantly in my mind is when I introduced Soren to the church nursery last Sunday and I finally sat through the full service for the first time since he was born. I soaked in the songs and the message, and recognized how utterly parched my soul felt. In this transformative season of motherhood, I'd neglected what has always been most life giving to me, and as a result the tiredness and busyness has led to cynicism and harshness in my heart and mind.
While I felt immense love and service toward my son, at times my thoughts or words towards others could definitely be classified in the "asshole" category. I even regret a couple moments like that this evening. But it's a reminder that I need to reprioritize things this next year. Not as a resolution, but as a necessity to have a sense of well being, balance, and graciousness toward myself and others.
My favorite Christmas song has always been "O Holy Night", and as we sang this in church last week, the words were such a sweet reminder of what this season and every season is about for me. I love the thread of hope in the lyrics... "A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn... Truly He taught us to love one another, His law is love and His gospel is peace. Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother. And in His name all oppression shall cease..."
My spirit has felt so very weary and flailing recently... but I know there is hope, and it brings me the peace I need. My prayer is for those that have felt the same tiredness, weariness, heaviness, or darkness that hope find you as well, no matter what that might look like.
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O holy night! The stars are brightly shining, It is the night of our dear Saviour's birth. Long lay the world in sin and error pining. 'Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth. A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! O hear the angel voices! O night divine, O night when Christ was born;
Truly He taught us to love one another, His law is love and His gospel is peace. Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother. And in His name all oppression shall cease. Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we, Let all within us praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! O Praise His name forever. His power and glory ever more proclaim! His power and glory ever more proclaim!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born
Fall on your knees! O hear the angels' voices! O night divine, O night when Christ was born O night divine, O night when Christ was born
Christ is the Lord! O Praise His name forever. His power and glory ever more proclaim! O night divine, O night when Christ was born
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