Help! My baby won't take a bottle.

Photo by Joffi

Mamas, I can not express the amount of stress and worry I was consumed with when my youngest son Mikael refused to take a bottle. You see, my first son never cared whether he got the boob or bottle, so I didn't give the bottle much thought with my second. I read the articles and received our pediatrician's advice to start giving him a bottle once a day after a month. But, I just disregarded it thinking it was no big deal.

I was wrong.

You hear this all the time, but babies are not the same! My youngest son fought relentlessly against taking a bottle. I went through so many different types and tried so many different tactics. But, here's what I believe is the best advice I can give... keep trying.

I know, you probably want to punch me in the face right now. That's your advice?!? I've been tethered to this baby 24/7 and can't leave the house for more than two hours, and all you have to say is keep trying?!?

Yes, and I'll tell you why.

The stress I experienced frantically trying every imaginable option was not helpful to the cause. I believe Mikael could sense it, which would trigger him to want to nurse even more! Staying calm and confident while helping our babies learn that the bottle is not a scary thing is key.

That said, I will also share the myriad of methods (along with my opinions) in what I feel was the most effective just in case my advice above still has you annoyed. I've ordered them by most effective to least in my experience.

Different Methods to Help the Baby Take the Bottle

• Try a different flow nipple: I think this is pretty important in general. If the nipple is too slow, your baby is going to think they can't get as much milk from the bottle as from mom. If the nipple is too fast, your baby will feel like they are choking on milk. Experiment with options.

• Try letting someone else give them the bottle: My mom seemed to have more success than me and it was our nanny who eventually had the most success. Babies are smarter than we think and know when mom is home. If you try this approach, don't just take off for hours and cross your fingers that the baby will take the bottle. Leave the baby with someone you trust and take a long walk. That way, if the baby is really refusing the bottle and upset, you're not coming home to a starving baby and a frazzled friend.

• Try a different position: This seemed to help as well because if I was holding my son in his normal cradle position, he'd just turn his head towards my boob. I personally had more success sitting him in a bouncer chair across from me. Whatever position it is, make sure it's stable and that you and the baby aren't wiggling around.

• Try the bait and switch: This is when you start nursing them first and once they are relaxed or drowsy, you quickly move them from your nipple to the bottle. In the beginning, this didn't work for me. After months of trying other options, it finally did.

• Try a distraction free environment: Depending on your baby, this may be helpful. It didn't seem to make much of a difference with my son.

• Try your milk. You may have too much lipase: If this is the first time you're reading about this, it essentially means that your pumped milk can have a strong metallic or soapy taste to it that your baby may be averse to due to excess amounts of the enzyme, lipase. If you've tasted your milk and you can't tell if it has a metallic or soapy taste, it probably doesn't. I didn't feel confident one way or the other after tasting my milk (and I was also willing to try anything to get my son to take a bottle), so scalded it on the stove to stop the enzyme from changing the taste. He still refused the bottle, and he also drinks my pumped milk no problem now. Chances are, I didn't have a lipase problem. Read more about lipase in breastmilk on Kelly Mom.

• Try adding a drop of non-alcoholic vanilla extract to the milk: Sounds strange, but it's perfectly safe. I found this version at Whole Foods, but I don't think it made a big difference.

• Try a sippy cup: This didn't work for me, but it did work for a friend. Particularly if your baby is older, this seems like a great option to try.

OK, so the number one piece of advice people try, but the number one piece of advice I don't recommend is the following:

• Try a different bottle or find a nipple that looks like yours: This logically made sense to me. But then I read somewhere that back in the day, they didn't have a million different options of bottles. I asked my pediatrician whether this advice held much weight, and she confirmed, it's not the bottle. Wish I'd known this before I purchased and returned at least 6 or 7 different bottles. Save yourself the energy and just focus on staying calm and confident when using the same trusty bottle you originally tried.

I'm going back to work! What do I do if my baby still refuses the bottle?

If your baby is still refusing the bottle, ask your caretaker to offer it to him/her a couple times a day. But if they are adamant they won't drink from it, try spoon feeding them the milk or use a thin syringe and tuck it into the back pocket of their cheek. It's time consuming, but at least your baby will still be getting some sustenance and you can concentrate on ramping back up as a working mama.

Final tips as you try to get your babe on the bottle

• Be patient: I know. This is kinda like that annoying advice I gave earlier. But, patience it so key throughout the process.

• Take care of yourself: Get enough sleep so that you have the margins you need to hang in there with your baby. Remember, they're not doing this to punish you or because they're stubborn. Being on mom's boob brings a lot of benefits more than just milk. Can't blame them for choosing that over the bottle if given the option.

• Don't force it: If your baby is screaming bloody murder, hang in there for a good five minutes or so, but then take a break until the next time. You don't want them to start associating the bottle with emotional stress.

• Only heat an ounce of milk at a time: Anyone who is nursing their baby knows how precious every drop of that milk is. It takes a lot of work and energy to nurse! I was constantly worried that I'd be wasting my milk if he refused the bottle. Only heating an ounce at a time helped alleviate the stress. And if he refuses it the first time, store it in the fridge until his next feeding and reheat. You can safely heat the milk up to two times before it loses its nutritional value.

I hope this is helpful for any mamas out there that are going through what I went through! It took a good five months for my son to successfully take the bottle. It will happen for you too, I promise. In the meantime, ask for help, spoil yourself with a pedicure here and there, and love on that babe while you figure it out together.

Any tips that worked for you that I didn't mention? Share below in the comments.